Please Make Sure Your Trash Is Pre-Approved

I couldn't help but laugh at the following line from this article in the Enquirer:

Monzel wants a $100 fine for anyone caught by police putting inappropriate garbage in the cans.

I'm glad the Republican Party is working so hard to protect us from the evils of "big government." But wait: there's more:

He also wants a quarterly report from public services to council's neighborhoods committee, including the number of all can calls and how quickly the complaints were resolved.

Really? A big, new government program to keep the citizenry safe from "inappropriate garbage"? And a bureaucracy devoted to tracking complaints about trash cans?

It's heartening to see the GOP stepping forward to take on such a critical issue. In the post-9/11 world, we must be safe from inappropriate garbage!